I have been asked, to write about something that more closely relates to the age bracket I belong to. I’m guessing, that would mean writing about love, and relationships, and friendships, and how I loved and lost, and how now I found the one. Or, how my friend left me in the doldrums for his promiscuous girlfriend and how that changed my perception about friendship and watered the seedling of mistrust. Or how that first boyfriend, broke my heart into a million pieces. And how, ultimately, I could rise above it all, to become a stronger person. I TRIED. I tried to write about the lost little 16 year old I once was. Or the things I have learnt in the process of getting my heart skinned. I FAILED. I'm not saying I haven’t got my heart broken, or made mistakes. Some of my decisions have most certainly been far from desirable. I may even go as far as to say that I might serve as a cautionary tale for a very well written book that must be titled “decisions one should never make”.
But, I have never really belonged to the age group I should ideally belong to. That’s not necessarily a good thing, but that’s just how its been most my life. I have never been the nail painting, pink loving, boy chasing 16 year old. And I am not, the working during the day, drinking during the night, reading Chetan Bhagat, saying TO HELL WITH THE WORLD , using phrases like I LIVE MAH LIFE THE WAY I WANNA” sort of 25 year old. I generally don’t have a problem enunciating words in their entirety. MY has never really been MAH for me. And I have confined myself to saying WANT TO and not WANNA.I hate conformists, and I would probably be quite a rebel if I tried to change the the English language to sound infinitely cooler.
Which is of course the need of the hour. I, unfortunately, am a simple conformist. Conforming to how our predecessors intended language to be. Does that make me uncool? Probably. Do I think being idiotically cool is necessary? I think not! I have never really been a fan of idiosyncratic coolness. I have dated the cool guy who needed to pull up his pants about 8 bucks north and learn how to chew properly before he could even think of rapping! I thought I would grow to like his style, but the only thought I left that relationship with, is – Newton was so wrong. Some things do defy the laws of gravity, and not just on the moon! Alternately, Robert Farris Thompson, who is a professor of art history at Yale university,suggests that Itutu, which he translates as "mystic coolness", is one of the three pillars of a religious philosophy created in the 15th century by Yoruba and Igbo civilisations of West Africa. Cool,or Itutu, contained meanings of conciliation and gentleness of character, of generosity and grace, and the ability to difuse fights and disputes.
Yet, no where in these civilizations, do they refer to gravity defying pants, abusive music, and language altering abilities as a prerequisite of eternal coolness. So, maybe, there is hope for me. Maybe, I am my own brand of Itutu, even though i refuse to conform to the modern idea of nonconformity. Maybe, I am in-equipped to live with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain. And maybe, just maybe, I don't need to.
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5 comments
Decidedly Itutu.
ReplyI still write about 'love' and heart ache and all the confusion that my mind creates unnecessarily.
ReplyAnd I loved what you wrote! you are indeed your own brand of itutu :)
Thank u :)
ReplyWell, I do too sometimes. But there's something rather annoying about being expected to write about the said predicaments! Hence, a little disgruntled.
ReplyAnd ofcourse, thank you for your words of appreciation. Being new to blogging, it is certainly encouraging! :)
Hmm, your own brand of cool sounds like a fun topic. Individualism, I have realized does hold its own over conformism. I agree, it seems a little foolish to want to do things or get involved with something or someone just because of its perception of popularity among a certain section of people, it worries me to no end. Having brought up in a typical middle class family and going through life as a normal urban kid in India would, I felt out of place when my friends watched tv wrestling or got a girlfriend/boyfriend because it was the cool thing to do. After having grown up, even in my late twenties, I dont see much difference in the trend. Those kids have simply transformed into ones who follow greenpeace and spout pseudo science in protesting GMO's or revere leftists as intellectuals because it is cool. I understand the allure, I do, it makes one feel belong and gives a certain level of intellectualism (albeit a fake one) for following the ones who peddled a hypocritical brand of conformism by blindly following the ones people perceive as cool, I can bet, a lot of youngsters got caught-up in kejriwal's drama for that very reason, the itutu culture.
ReplyThis is something that one can continue speaking on about forever, especially for people like us who see the world for what it is after having learned through our experiences, many of which not always positive, it just comes naturally to learn and be our own person rather than conform to a certain arbitrary rule that everyone is following because it gives them social credence.
I admire your individualism and would urge you to keep it up, remember, for it is not the people who go with the flow who change the tide, it is the individualists, loners and non conformists who change the system. Be your proud self :)
-Praveen
PS- you write well, you should do it more often, I would love to read more of what you have to say.
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